


New Beginnings

by WondersOfInsanity



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 18:21:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8024263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WondersOfInsanity/pseuds/WondersOfInsanity
Summary: On a New Year's Eve after the Battle of Hogwarts, Neville is reunited with a friend from the past. But can he find it in him to let go of the shadows and embrace new hope?





	New Beginnings

It was the 31st of December and the sound of singing could be heard through the streets of London.  There were Christmas lights decorating the houses and the trees outside;  the groups of people laughing as they headed to wherever they were planning to celebrate the arrival of New Year; firecrackers  exploding, followed by rounds of cheers, even though midnight was more than half an hour away – it all looked so ordinary, so… normal.

It seemed impossible to think that this time last year, the world was about to end. And for some, it was still ending.

Almost eight months passed since the Second Wizarding War. Almost eight months since the dark mark appeared in the sky for the last time. Since the bodies of so many who wasted their last breaths fighting covered the grounds of Hogwarts. Since his mind began to be clouded by darkness.

It has been almost eight months and Neville Longbottom was tired of pretending he was alright.

A lot of people he knew weren’t alright at the moment, he was well aware of that. He sometimes saw them walking around, hunched over like they had the weight of the world on their shoulders. Magic could do great number of extraordinary things but, unfortunately, removing the feeling of emptiness just wasn’t one of them.

And that was exactly what he was – empty.

He somehow managed at first. Putting on a smile when spoken to, letting other people do the talking, not trusting his voice not to tremble.

 He met up with Hermione at a local café a couple of time, but they only talked about trivial things and were using the time as a distraction from their thoughts. None of them had the strength to actually talk about what they went through, not in depth or with all the emotions they were fighting with.

It wasn’t the greatest way of dealing with things, but it was still working. For a while, at least.

He almost started to believe he could really make it through somehow.

But then Christmas came, with its flashing lights and happy songs and families gathering around decorated trees, exchanging presents – it was all just too much for him.

He couldn’t shake off the feeling after that.

This is exactly why he was now sitting on a bench in an empty park on New Year’s Eve, a half-drunk bottle of firewhisky in his hand. He was trying to push the thoughts away for one night, to stop seeing the faces of dead people whenever he closed his eyes. But the more he tried the more his mind wondered to that day. He sighed heavily and took another swig.

It wasn’t his first time drinking so he knew for the fact he wasn’t really drunk yet. But he also wasn’t all that sober, for if he was, he would have heard the slowly approaching steps that were coming down the pathway before they stopped a few feet away from him.

“Neville?” the voice, although incredibly sweet and soft, startled him. The bottle slipped from his fingers and fell on the ground with a loud _clunk_.

He watched for a few moments as the remaining of the liquid spilled on the snow-covered ground, trying to steady his breaths as much as possible, before looking at the girl who called his name.

Luna Lovegood, the very person he admired and cared about and liked so much and for so long…

He never got the chance to tell her how he felt at the end. The timing never really seemed right.

He had to fight the urge to slap himself – it was hard for him to believe it wasn’t just a dream, just another illusion that would disappear as soon as he blinked, leaving him all alone again.

He blinked, slowly, and than a couple more times just to make sure it still wasn’t his mind playing a trick on him.

_No._

_She was here._

_She was real._

She stood in front of him, wearing a pink coat and dotted grey pants and a small, sheepish smile that made his heart skip a few beats. Even her eyes had that same spark in them. A gentle gust of wind tousled her light hair and for a moment he thought he saw a halo around her head.

She looked like the most beautiful angel sent from heaven, and it took him some time to realize he had been staring at her without saying anything.

“Hey Luna,” he gulped, feeling his throat going dry “You look great.”

Her smile widened just a bit at his words. But as she was about to answer, he could see her eyes losing some of its brightness.

“And you look like something’s troubling you.”

Neville couldn’t help but chuckle a bit at that.”That’s quite the understatement.” He winced a bit when his words came out way harsher than he intended them to. He opened his mouth to say something else, but when no words came out he closed his eyes and leaned back against the bench.

He could hear her making her way closer and then taking a seat next to him. He tried to ignore her presence while he got his thoughts together, but then he felt her eyes on him. He sighed and, resting his elbows on his knees, looked sideways at her.

“So,” he started “what brings you to London? I didn’t know you were in town”

She looked pleased he finally acknowledged her. She shook her head a bit as she began to speak “We don’t usually visit, no. But, you see, some of my dad’s old friends live nearby and he wanted to pay them all a visit, to catch up. We’ve been in town for a few weeks now.”

“Then how come you’re not with him now?”

“He fell ill a few days ago. He’s all right now, though, just still quite weak. He’s resting in his bed.”

“And so you took a walk in the park by yourself instead?” Neville asked.

Luna paused for a second “I was actually on my way to Harry’s New Year’s Eve party… Did you get the invitation?”

“Yeah,” he replied “I did.”

He got the letter about three weeks ago. It was quite heavy, written in neat handwriting (undoubtedly belonging to Hermione) and consisted of four sentences explaining that there would be a celebration at 12 Grimmauld place and than of half a page of ‘ _We really really look forward to seeing you no it wouldn’t be better without you there please please please stop by…_ ’

“I’m not in the mood for crowds… or for celebrating” Neville said, turning his gaze to the little pond that was across from where they sat.

 “I don’t think anyone is, really” Luna stated after a brief moment of silence, “I think Harry just wants to make sure none of his friends are all alone on the night everyone else is so happy”

“You mean, like I am now? Is that why you’re here, to tell me I’m supposed to be happy?” His voice was heavy with bitterness as he turned to face her, gazing at her with a hardened expression, but let his face drop when he realized she’s been studying him with a look filled with angst.

He sighed.

 It wasn’t her fault he felt so miserable.  It was wrong for him to take it out on her.

He cleared his throat to make sure he had her attention even though there was no need for that, considering her eyes were affixed on him the whole time.

”It’s just that… it’s hard for me to…to be around people when all I can think about is how I’m going to lose them sooner or later-”

“Neville, I-” he raised a hand to stop her from continuing. “No, I know, it doesn’t really make any sense. I’m more than aware of that. I know that ...if I was really afraid of losing people, it would be logical to spend _more_ time with them…but that’s the thing, nothing in life is logical… and I…I…”

His felt his chest start to ache. He blinked away the tears that were starting to form. _He could do this. He had to. If not now, then when?_

He looked at Luna and she smiled in return, taking one of his hands in both of hers, encouraging him to go on whenever he was ready.

“I watched so many people die in the Battle. And I can’t say I knew all of them well. But the ones I did know…I have nothing to remember them by, nothing to prove to me that they were real. I thought that my memory of them should be enough… but there are so many faces and voices and… and they all started to merge together and …I have trouble remembering how they sounded when they laughed…”

His voice started to shake. He tried to take a deep breath, but that only made the pain in worse.

“Is… that all we were meant to become? Just an echo of what we were when we were alive… just a background noise?”

He couldn’t keep his tears from spilling anymore. He turned his head and closed his eyelids as he felt the first tear start to roll down his cheek, not wanting her to see him cry.

Suddenly, Luna’s let go of his hand and he instantly felt the absence of her warmth. But not a moment after, there was something being put around his neck.

He snapped his eyes open and his finger immediately reached towards it. Glancing down to see what he was holding, he saw a silver chain necklace with a small pendant in the shape of a crescent moon.

“There,” he heard Luna say next to him, “now you have something to remember me by.”

Bringing one hand to Neville’s cheek, she gently turned his face until their eyes met. ”But you don’t have to be afraid of losing me. I’m not going anywhere.”

He smiled and it surprised him just how much more relaxed he felt compared to just a few minutes ago.   

 “You care so much about everyone else, Neville. “ She caressed his face as she spoke, “But, you see, you shouldn’t forget to take care of yourself, as well. And you shouldn’t be afraid _or ashamed_ for needing help. I’ve been told that what friends are for. And we are friends, right?”

He’s been so entranced by her presence, he almost forgot to reply. “Of course we are -” he wanted to say more, to say he thought of her as more than just a friend, but a lump that formed in his throat prevented him from doing so.

Somewhere nearby, a small explosion went off, followed by a choir of cheers.

Luna stared off at the direction the sounds came from, letting a comfortable silence fall between them. Slowly, she let her hand drop to her lap.

“It will be midnight soon,” she stated.

“…”

“That means it’s almost a New Year…”

“…so?” Neville asked, not understanding what she meant by that.

“So,” she explained, “it is a great time for a new start, don’t you think?”

Neville snorted “I didn’t know you liked stereotypes so much.”

“Is there something wrong with that?” Luna looked at him with a puzzled expression.

“Yes,” he said, “they’re rarely ever right and almost always really stupid”

“I don’t’ think it is stupid.” Luna insisted, “I think we could all use something new.”

“I don’t think that will make everything better, Luna.”

“It won’t necessarily make things better, but it also won’t necessarily make them worse. It will be…different. A change. There have been _so_ many bad things, something is bound to change. After all, I think we deserve it.”

“Luna, I-” Neville tried saying, but the intense beating of his heart made it impossible to concentrate on anything other than her – on her beautiful eyes, and on her gorgeous smile and on her pink lips...

Neither of them knew for sure which one leaned in first, but only a moment after her lips brushed his and they where soft and sweet and he felt ecstatic. It was a small kiss, but it made his heart flutter none the less.

He pulled back and looked at her as a large grin spread across his face.

It only then occurred to them that the sky above them was changing colours. Chuckling, Luna pulled out her wand and cast a few blue and red sparks that soon joined the beautiful display of fireworks.

“Happy New Year, Neville.” She shouted so he could hear her over all the noise.

Neville laughed, embracing her tightly. “Happy New Year, Luna.”

She hugged him back, burying her face in his chest. They stayed like that for what seemed like forever, long after the sky cleared, before Luna took his hand and pulled them both on their feet.

“Where are we going?” he asked confused.

“Well, to the party, of course! Ginny promised there’ll be pudding.”

His grin widened and he let her lead him down the road.

He wasn’t a fool. He knew his troubles wouldn’t simply disappear because he wanted them to. He knew healing is a long and hard process. But, for the first time since the Battle, he had strength to fight for a better day.

And there will still be bad days – the ones that make him feel like he’s suffocating; the ones in which he won’t be able to get out of the bed; the ones that will turn him into an ugly mess and leave him crying on the floor…

…And that was ok. He knew that if he fell, there’ll be people next to him to help him get back up.

And, looking at his hand linked with Luna’s, he couldn’t help the happiness that came over him.

For a new dawn was approaching, bringing a new adventure with it. And he, for once, looked forward to seeing what the future had in store.

**Author's Note:**

> My first ever fic. I'd love to hear your opinions.


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